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Tuesday, June 7, 2016

McClendon Studios Presents: The Most Useful Kitchen Utensil

The Most Useful Kitchen Utensil

My child-bride, Suzanne, shared a writing prompt with me the other day.  The prompt suggested writing about the kitchen utensil I find most useful.  I thought about this very hard.

In reality, Suzanne does the majority of the cooking that goes on in our house.  Therefore, Suzanne is the most useful item in the kitchen.

I generally stick to the basic, easy to fix things like popcorn, scrambled eggs, French fries, and French toast.   I used to make biscuits and cornbread, too.  I can survive with two pots (one large, one small) a skimmer, colander, tongs, spatula, frying pan, cast iron skillet, cookie sheet, and an occasional fork or spoon.  And, of course, I have my indispensable chef’s knife.

Anyone who has ever seen me cook knows that there is one item I did not mention that is always present whenever I cook anything.  It has to be.  In fact, legend has it that it has been court-ordered in at least two Southern states that I always have at least two of these on hand whenever I go to cook anything.

My friend Phil Brown can attest that when I cooked the inaugural meal in my house trailer back in Spartanburg, South Carolina, this would have come in handy.  The meal was fish hash.  It was not meant to be fish hash, but that is what it turned out to be.

Through the years, my dog Abby would aid in disposing of some of my culinary masterpieces. There was gravy that could be used in place of Play Dough.  Later versions of this gravy were used to fill in potholes. In fact, if you drive down East Green Street in Iva, South Carolina, you will no doubt drive over some odd pavement made from this gravy.

Check out my recent blog post entitled, "Mom Dad’s Making Popcorn" to see an example of why I need this one all-important utensil.

The one item I need the most in any attempt to make food is an ABCD rated fire extinguisher.
The ratings go as follows:
A is for putting out normal fires like from wood or paper.
B is for flammable liquids like kitchen grease, gasoline, and my gravy.
C is for electrical fires such as can be found as a result of many of my DIY projects.
D is for flammable metals.  Many people believe that it is impossible to set cast iron on fire, but I may be able to prove to you otherwise.

I had thought about creating a recipe book to include with this post, but I thought better of it because of an agreement I reached with the Center for Disease Control as well as cooking schools everywhere.

Remember, practically everything in your kitchen can burn.  I have proven this on many occasions, so keep a fire extinguisher handy and bon app├ętit

Read My Child-Bride Suzanne's Blog

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