The Sisterhood

 

The Sisterhood

There is an episode of the Andy Griffith Show about a church bazaar that is being held by the Ladies’ Auxiliary of their local church.

Andy says to his deputy, Warren, that there are three rules to a long, happy life in Mayberry.  The first is don’t play leapfrog with elephants. The second is never pet a tiger unless his tail is a waggin’. The third is never, ever mess with the Ladies’ Auxiliary.

This last one could be said of the ultra-secret organization known as The Sisterhood.  The Illuminati have nothing on the Sisterhood. 

This Sisterhood dates back to whenever it was that the second female human was placed on this earth.

We men are simple, either we like another man or we don’t.  Usually we can tell in the first minute if we and another guy will get along or not.

Not so with women.  It seems that women can be best friends one minute and worst

enemies the next.  But, when the Sisterhood puts out an ultimatum, all bets are off.

Women who could not stand to be in the same air space together will work with one another to accomplish a Sisterhood goal.  Usually, that goal is keeping we men in our place.

Many years ago, my now child-bride Suzanne, who was my girlfriend at the time, and I broke up.  Well, I broke up; she did not. It was a stupid miscommunication and I read the signals wrong.

All of us men have learned that when a woman says something is fine, that it isn’t fine.  If she says, “Go ahead”, you better not go ahead.  But there are other things we don’t yet understand.

As I said, I had broken up with Suzanne. She had not broken up with me.  I figured since she and I were not still together, or so I thought, that even though I had promised her I would take her to get her driver’s license at the Highway Department, all promises were null and void.

I further believed that, since we were no longer a couple, we were free to date other people.  I made a date with another girl and all was set for me and her to go out.

Suzanne wrote me a letter and told me that if I did not keep my promise to take her to the Highway Department to get her license, that would make me a liar since I had promised to take her.

I was not going to be called a liar and I was not going to be a liar, so I took her.

While I was waiting on Suzanne to get signed up for her driving test and to take her test, I used the pay phone to call the girl. I guess I dated myself with that one.  Good thing, too, because I was not going to date anyone else.

Well, when I got her on the phone, she used every cliché excuse as to why she could not go out with me even though she had seemed happy before when I asked her. She had to wash her hair, her parents had other plans, the dog needed a bath, she had homework, etc.

When we left the Highway Department, Suzanne asked me if I was ready for my big date.  To my knowledge, Suzanne did not know I had a date.

I told her it had been cancelled and left it at that.

Later, I found out what had happened.  It seems that some of Suzanne’s friends had found out about the date.  They had decided that Suzanne and I belonged together and that was that.  They convinced the girl not to go out with me and, furthermore, to never talk to me again.

So now, not only did I not have a date, no girl in the free world would even look at me. If I needed to know the time of day, I would have to call the time and temperature number, and the voice on it was male.

Suzanne and I were still not together again.  But I was not going to date anyone else.

One night, I had come back to McClendon Manor for the Christmas break.  I was sitting in the upstairs den watching television when the phone rang.  I answered the phone and the voice on the other end was female.  I did not recognize the voice at all.

I asked who it was on the phone and found out that it was one of Suzanne’s many first cousins.  She and I talked for a few minutes and then she put Suzanne on the phone.

Suzanne and I started playing records over the phone to one another and then Suzanne played Are You Lonesome Tonight by Elvis Presley. He was also her cousin.

During that song, I asked Suzanne if she would go back with me and she said she would think about it.  The next day, she had a friend tell me she would go with me again and to call her after four that day.  I called her and she was not home.

It was years before I found out that Suzanne’s friends had conspired to keep me in line. They called themselves "The Sisterhood".

See also our posts on Master Control, Papa's Proposal, and Our Wedding. 

Read My Child-Bride Suzanne’s Blog

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When Did Things Change?

Maybe I grew up in Leave it to Beaver land and no one else did. It just seems that when I was growing up things were a lot more simple and a lot more moral. When I was growing up teenage girls did get pregnant but that was an exception, not the norm.

When I was growing up there were people with tattoos but we frowned upon them and people generally kept them covered up. Back then if some we loved had a tattoo we liked them in spite of the tattoo, not because of it.

When I was growing up men did not wear earrings. If a man did wear an earring if he wasn’t a pirate he was beaten up everywhere he went. No one would have hired a man with an earring. No one would have dated a man or a woman with a tattoo. And the unwed mother was talked about behind her back. It was a different world.

Yes, we had babies born out of wedlock back then but we did not have terms like my baby mama or my baby daddy. Not only is it not grammatically correct it is just sad to think that the only relationship between a man and a woman who had or are still having sex together is the fact that they are parents of the same child. Am I missing something?

Today it seems to be the norm for people to sleep around. Back in Leave it to Beaver Land if someone said this is my financé it meant that the two people were going to actually get married someday. It normally meant that the two were waiting until they married and then on their wedding night would celebrate becoming man and wife by consummating the marriage. Today the term financé means “we are sleeping together and have no intention of ever getting married.”

Back in Leave it to Beaver Land men kept their pants pulled up. Women kept their parts covered. People did not walk around with body parts hanging out of their shirts or pants.

Back in Leave it to Beaver Land we understood that homosexuality was a sin. We knew that when God called something an abomination that it did not mean He was happy when people committed the sin. Leviticus 18:22 in the King James Bible sums it up as far as I am concerned. ²²Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination[1]. What part of Thou shalt not don’t you understand?

But, God loves the sinner and hates the sin. I am sure that if Jesus was asked by a homosexual what they should do he would say exactly what He said to the woman caught in adultery. In John 8:11 King James Version Jesus is talking to the woman who was accused of adultery and He said: ¹⁰When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? ¹¹ She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more. [2] .

I believe that God would like for us all to do just that, Go and sin no more.  I believe that for those people who have tattoos all over their body they should realize that the body is God’s temple.

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[1]The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

[2]The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.