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Saturday, July 27, 2013

Keep The Freaking Packaging the Same

I recently saw a response by BodyForm to a post made by someone named Richard.  It seems that Richard feels like feminine protection manufacturers have lied to him over the years.  He states he was led to believe that periods were all about blue liquid and extreme sports.

I am a redneck.  I never had that kind of misconception.  I was raised with a mother and sister who, at first, had to deal with little blue bags and some type of harness that made one think that a period was some type of wild animal that needed to be restrained.

Thankfully, things have improved for women.  What has not improved is how feminine protection people treat a small part of the population that makes the actual purchase of the product, Men.
Any man who has a wife, or has been in any other type of long-term relationship with a childbearing-age female, has most likely been in this situation.  He is going to the store for a few odds and ends and she asks him at the last minute to pick her up some sanitary pads.  His woman shows him a box of what she needs and he does his best to memorize what the package looks like.

Down to the store he goes.  First, he must pass through the hardware section to pick up some nails, saw blades and other manly products before heading to “the aisle”.  He starts down the aisle with all these products that seem to be laughing at him.  He searches in vain for the needed brand, style, size, and absorbency. 

He knows that every eye in the store is on him.  Someone in the security office has him on camera zooming in on him as he picks up a package that looks like what he needs.  Let’s see, we have Notex, Super, Maxi, Long, Heavy, Wings, Baking Soda, Mint, Day Time, Extended wear…Nope that isn’t it.  Finally, after several tries, he finds the right words but the package is different from the one she showed him.  Does he ask for assistance?  About this time, he is approached by a teenage stock clerk who asks him if he needs any help.  He responds, “Yes, where do I find charcoal lighter fluid.”  She walks him to the end of the aisle and points in the right direction for the charcoal lighter fluid.  He goes to that aisle and calls his wife.

His wife assures him that the style he found in the different package is probably correct.  Now, he has to try to get back to the aisle and find the package he had found before.  He swings by.  There is a mother and two young girls on that aisle now.  He passes by.  Security is now on high alert up in the unseen security office.

Finally, mom and daughters depart.  He heads down the aisle.  Where did he see that before?  Here it is.  Up to the cashier he goes.  What?  The only open checkout has that same teeny-bopper stock clerk that he ran into on “The Aisle”.  Let’s just get this over with.  He unloads his buggy and she starts checking out his order.  She says, “Looks like you did not find the charcoal lighter fluid.” 
Finally, he gets out of the store and he thinks, “I am glad that is over.”

Next month, he is sent to the store.  He finds that the company has changed the packaging, again.  How is he going to get through this?

It seems that about every two months feminine protection companies get a devilish thought and decide to change the packaging on their products.  On alternating months the stores, who are in collusion with the feminine products companies, rearrange the displays of the products making it possible to harass the male customer.  And every month there is that twelve year old female stock clerk who is going to also be the only open cashier.

Richard, you weren’t lied to.  In fact, if you never had to go to the store for the product, you were lucky.

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