Please watch the video until Hamlet gives his email address(about 4 minutes and 15 seconds in) .
It is at the end of the video and I think it is funny.
Dreamstime
Showing posts with label Not so wordless wednesday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Not so wordless wednesday. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 7, 2017
Not So Wordless Wednesday
Thursday, October 27, 2016
Throwback Thursday Not-So-Wordless Wednesday You Okay, Bossman?
The appointed day arrived and we were getting ready to leave for Atlanta. The plan was that my mother, my sister, my brother and I would go to Atlanta.
My cousin and my sister would go to the concert and my aunt and the rest of us would go shopping.
About two hours before time to leave, my father came back to the store from installing an antenna. The ladder he was using was part of the way broken, but he used it anyway.
When he got back to the store, he was limping. He told my mother that his knee went out
and he had fallen from the second step of the ladder. T
his was not unusual because he had a bad knee from years before when he dropped a cash register on it, plus years of football.
He went to college on a football scholarship and played in the Air Force.
When he got back to the store, he was limping. He told my mother that his knee went out
his was not unusual because he had a bad knee from years before when he dropped a cash register on it, plus years of football.
He went to college on a football scholarship and played in the Air Force.
He said he would be alright. He would just prop up in a recliner there at the store and he would be better soon. He knew that if my mother thought any more was wrong, we would not go to Atlanta and Sandra would miss the concert she had been looking forward to.
Well, after several hours, we left. Just before we left, he had me read the registers and count the money. This was unusual, but I did not think anything about it.
What really happened was that he fell off the roof of the house into a rose bush. The employee with him, Ira “Pee Wee” Cowan, leaned over the edge of the roof and said, “You okay, boss man?”
Papa was not okay. To make matters worse, Papa had brought the ladder down with him.
Papa sat at the store for several hours in extreme pain because he did not want to disappoint my sister.
At the hospital, they removed over one hundred rose thorns from all parts of his body and determined that he had a major break that was not horizontal across the bone like usually happens.
It was actually broken vertically. The orthopedist explained that this was a more painful break than they normally saw.
He told Papa he would need to stay in the hospital for several days. Papa told him, no, he wanted to go home. The doctor only agreed to release Papa if he had someone who could stay with him.
It was actually broken vertically. The orthopedist explained that this was a more painful break than they normally saw.
He told Papa he would need to stay in the hospital for several days. Papa told him, no, he wanted to go home. The doctor only agreed to release Papa if he had someone who could stay with him.
The store had an E.M.T. on staff. We also had a resident goof-ball who was about as goofy as the day is long. Goofball stayed with Papa until we could get home.
The Iva Rescue Squad, always known for going above and beyond the call of duty, took Papa back to the store. They rolled the stretcher to where he could read the registers and collect the money. They took him to the bank to make the drop. Then, they took him back to the house and got him situated in the room.
Our staff E.M.T stayed with Papa for a while and helped him get situated. He gave
Goofball some instructions on what to do to help Papa, which Goofball ignored.
That night, my mother called the house to speak with Papa and it is then she found out what happened. The E.M.T. answered the phone. He told my mother what had happened and that everything was taken care of.
We got back home and found Goofball sitting on the bed beside Papa. Goofball was eating a sandwich and watching television. Papa was looped, but still in extreme pain.
My father endured a great deal of pain because he loved my sister and did not want her to be disappointed.
My father endured a great deal of pain because he loved my sister and did not want her to be disappointed.
Can you think of a time when someone you know made a personal sacrifice for someone they loved?
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
Throwing a Trash Can Away?
Disclaimer: Many of the stories are completely fictional. Other stories are fictional accounts of true stories. Other stories are completely true. Sometimes the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
The following story is entirely true.
Have you ever tried to throw a trash can away? I once tried it and found that it can’t be done.
I had signed up with a trash company that was one of the more premium trash companies in my area. They gave premade Rolodex cards and refrigerator magnets to prospective customers.
When you signed up, you got a 96 gallon rolling trash container to put trash
Our kitchen trash can had seen better days. It sort of resembled a banana peel in that it had several sections very loosely attached at one end. It had held its last piece of trash.
I took it to the street on trash day and left it beside the big trash container since the container was already full. The garbage company had told me that, on the rare occasions that I had more than 96 gallons of trash, I could simply place the overflow beside the trashcan and the company would pick it up. They gave great service.
After time for the trash truck to have come and gone, I looked out the window and saw my discarded trash can still there. I thought that was odd. Why was the trash truck so late?
I went to the big 96 gallon container and checked. It was empty. I picked up the old trash can and put it inside Old 96 gallon and rolled it back to the side yard where it lived most of the week. I figured that maybe the trash company didn’t see it.
Next week, I rolled Old 96 out to the street with the discarded trash can safely in the bottom of it. There is no chance they will miss taking it this time. It is at the bottom of Old 96.
We left to run a few errands in town and came back to find Old 96 standing there at the street with his new-found buddy “Boomerang.”
That’s right, the trash company had seen “Boomerang” at the bottom of Old 96 and decided that I must have accidentally put it in there.
Being a professional trash company, they decided to go the extra mile and return my “mistakenly-discarded” trash can to me. Thanks, guys. Why didn’t you do that with the 2,493 dustpans my kids mistakenly threw away last year?
I called the trash company and explained that I had a trash can to throw away and what had happened. The man explained to me that it would be a good idea to tape a note to the trash can that said it was trash and to take it.
Okay, I printed a sign up on the computer that said “I am trash, please take me.” I taped this to Boomerang and put it back in Old 96.
Next week, I rolled Old 96 with Boomerang inside with his note securely taped to him out to the street. The trash truck came and went and I went outside to find, you guessed it, dear old Boomerang. The trash company had taken the sign I made.
I finally got the trash company to take Boomerang, though. I took a utility knife and cut him into smaller pieces and distributed the pieces between several different trash bags.
For weeks, I expected a regenerated Boomerang to show up on my door step looking to haunt me for the rest of my days. So far, so good.
A side note here: Years later, we moved to Texas. We had an old trash can that was on its last legs, too. We were still using it and the trash company decided to keep it. Texas is a whole 'nother country.
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
Not So Wordless Wednesday 12 October 2016 Give the Gift of Life
This week for Not-So-Wordless Wednesday I wanted to share the graphic Give Blood.
As you know, we are going into the holiday season. During this time of the year, donations of blood decrease and the need for blood drastically increases.
Many people will be partying. It is sad that in our modern world so many people choose to partake in alcohol and then try to drive.
Many of these will say, “I drink all the time; I can hold it.” Take it from a former EMT who has dealt with many a drunk who thought he could hold his alcohol, you can’t.
Many of these will say, “I drink all the time; I can hold it.” Take it from a former EMT who has dealt with many a drunk who thought he could hold his alcohol, you can’t.
It seems the ones who choose to be wine drinkers are the worst. Many wine drinkers are
Enough of my soapbox for now. If you are able to give blood, please do so. Our youngest is one unit away from giving 4 gallons. Her Papa Bruce would be so proud. He and his brother Carl each gave in excess of 5 gallons between 1962 and 1970. I don’t know the total they gave during their lives. They both had AB+ blood and were always welcome at the blood bank.
One time, when I was about 5 years old, a policeman knocked at our door. He was looking for my father. My father pulled up shortly after that and then he jumped in the back of the squad car and it pulled away with lights and siren.
The cops got my uncle, too.
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| Papa's 5 Gallon Pin |
A little girl had been in an accident and was in serious need of AB+ blood. At the time, it was felt that the exact match was what she needed. There were only 7 AB+ registered blood donors in Atlanta at that time. My father and uncle were two of them.
Give blood today. The life you save may be your own.
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http://messymimismeanderings.
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
Throwback Thursday and Not so Wordless Wednesday
This week I am combining Wednesday and Thursday since the subject lends itself to both memes.
About this time last year, our little black and white kitty cat was diagnosed with feline leukemia. Wow, those words hit hard. This week, I would like to share a few pictures of our little “Manian debil” as I used to call him. It was supposed to be close to Tasmanian Devil, like on the Bugs Bunny cartoons. He was our little pride and joy and the ONLY pet I ever had that was included in our plans for the future.
God had other plans and little Xerxes, just barely over a year old, went to play in Rainbow Bridge. We miss you little friend.
All Xerxes All the Time
 |  Cats make great therepists |
 Laughing Xerxes |  His Dash |
 Baby Xerxes with Spot and Daddy |  Deep in thought |
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http://totsandme.blogspot.com/
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Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Not So Wordless Wednesday-Big "nake, Daddy
Today on Not So Wordless Wednesday, I would like to share the story of Big 'Nake, Daddy.
Big Nake, Daddy
To the best of my knowledge, the following story is true. No names were changed in this story.
When we first moved to Gulf Coast Texas, I was deathly afraid of all snakes. My mother, a Texas native, always said, “The only good snake is a dead snake."
Just the other day my mother, who lives about thirty or so miles from us, told me of a little excitement in her old neighborhood. It seems that her former across-the-street neighbor is licensed to keep highly venomous snakes. He has 248 venomous snakes in his house most of the time
(the news report said there were 23 and all but one of them were venomous).
(the news report said there were 23 and all but one of them were venomous).
I say most of the time because the other day he only had 247. The one that was missing at roll call was the 10 foot long King Cobra (the news report said it was 8 feet long). They have no idea how it got loose, but loose it got.
This is Texas. The story always grows in the telling. If the snake had remained on the loose, it would be 30 feet long by this time.
This is Texas. The story always grows in the telling. If the snake had remained on the loose, it would be 30 feet long by this time.
Snake experts from around the world were flown in to try to find this snake. They combed the area and searched with helicopters and specially trained snake tracking dogs.
People in the area were warned to keep their pets indoors. The snake was finally found less than ¼ mile from the local high school.
I told my mother that if I had known this, they could have found me in Antarctica, the only snake free continent.
 |
| Broad-Banded Water Snake Taken by Suzanne in our driveway |
It was dark and the light in the carport was not that good. The bag these fence parts were in caught on my shoe and made a sound close enough to that of a rattler - let’s face it, to me any sound would have been close enough at that time - for me to think, “Snake!”
I jumped sideways over the riding lawnmower.
Since that time, I have fought many snakes. We have found a four foot long snake skin in the filing cabinet.
I have killed a copperhead in our backyard.
I have killed a copperhead in our backyard.
I have killed a coral snake in our front yard. Said snake defied several things I had heard about snakes. For one, I had always heard that a snake cannot crawl when it is 70 degrees or less. It was one of those rare winter days around here when it had actually dipped to 68 degrees.
Well, this snake crawled, slowly, past 19 cats. I had always heard a cat will kill a snake.
Then, there is Sir Hiss. Sir Hiss lives somewhere in this house. When Xerxes was so sick
he could hardly move, Sir Hiss scared him. I made a promise that Sir Hiss is going to die. I have fought Sir Hiss twice and both times Sir Hiss has won. But, I will keep my promise to Xerxes. Sir Hiss is a beautiful chicken snake. He is about 4 feet long and very fast. I have hit him several times with the Louisville Slugger and broke it. He is not venomous. But, he has to die.
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| Broad-Banded Water Snake Taken by Suzanne in our backyard. |
And now, without further eloquence, is the story of Big ‘Nake, Daddy.
When my Uncle Glenn was just a wee lad, he and my grandfather were out on the ranch, riding fence. Grandpa saw some brush and loaded it into the back of the pickup.
The pickup was just an old farm truck and did not have glass in the back window. Uncle Glenn was standing on the truck seat looking out the window towards the back of the truck when he said excitedly, “Big ‘nake, Big ‘nake."
To which Grandpa replied, “Yes, Glenn, big ‘nake, big ‘nake." Why don’t parents ever really listen to kids?
Uncle Glenn repeated, “Big ‘nake, Daddy, big ‘nake.”
Grandpa again replied, “Yes, Glenn, big ‘nake."
By now, Glenn is really excited and jumping on Grandpa, crying, “Big ‘nake, big ‘nake!” Grandpa turned to see the biggest cottonmouth that he had ever seen starting to crawl though the back window of the truck.
Grandpa grabbed Glenn and stopped the truck. He jumped out of the truck with it still moving. He drew his snake pistol that was loaded with six rounds of snake shot. Grandpa was probably the best shot with a pistol you have ever seen. He drew left-handed; he was holding Glenn with the right hand and squeezed off six rapid rounds of shots. The snake fell dead in the seat where my uncle had just been standing.
Years later, the Shiner Gazette in Shiner, Texas, wrote of my grandfather killing a rattlesnake on his back step with a .22 rifle.
Once, while we were out in Texas visiting my grandparents, I stepped out the back door of their house on the famous 4 Corners Ranch. I heard Grandpa yell from across the yard, “Stop, David!” I froze.
The next thing I knew, Grandpa had shot in my direction, killing a cottonmouth just under my foot. It was lying on their back step. Grandpa was an amazing shot.
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
Not So Cordless Wednesday 14 September 2016
Not So Cordless Wednesday 14 September 2016
Many of you will think they recognize the image in the photo. Well, today on Not So Wordless Wednesday, we are having Not So Cordless Wednesday as well.
You have all heard of wireless phones. Many of you have heard of cordless phones. Today, I wish to present you with …
A phoneless cord. Yes, you are right; I have never been accused of being all there. Our youngest daughter takes after me in the dry, off-beat humor department. She and a friend put a frozen potato in a prominent place on her campus just to see what people would say or do.
The potato became an internet sensation as people started taking its photo and posting it on Instagram and YouTube, as well as other places.
Sometimes you just have to say, “So what”. I have often seen people look at each other like, “Will you make that phone call we talked about earlier, or will I?” Maybe they plan to order a pizza or maybe there is a special place they intend to send me.
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Wednesday, September 7, 2016
Not So Wordless Wednesday 07 September 2016
Not So Wordless Wednesday
On the other hand, there is no writing in my grandpa’s Bible. He died before I was born. My grandmother died after our second child was born, so there is a juxtaposition, too.
I take great comfort in the fact that I can look and see the Bibles that instructed and inspired my grandparents. It somehow makes me feel closer to them.
Don’t forget, we will be rolling out our How to Manage Your Monkey course on October 3. Come join us on our kickoff day.
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